first session of my first tattoo. by jimmy rogers @daytona hardcore.
i tend to keep the meaning to myself a lot because i find that strangers out in public tend to ask me more about it than actual people i know. so, i figured i’d spill… in hopes that it might benefit someone in some way.
it represents overcoming addictions (& all the chaos it brings), heartbreak, & fear.
as i was growing up, my father struggled with an addiction to cocaine, which lead to constant physical and emotional abuse. my mother had an alcohol dependency and suffered from mental illness.
it represents strength- physical & emotional- because it had to have taken both to survive the things that i have. & when i feel like that strength has left me, the tattoo is a reminder that it’s there, always has been, & always will be.
about three years ago, i was dating someone who was also very physically & emotionally abusive. we finally called it quits, which sent me into a deep depression. i started to experiment with drugs, and inevitably (so they say), with all the addiction running through my family, i got hooked on xanax. i started stealing from people, friends, and family. at rock bottom, i was taking about 15 2mg bars a day. then something happened.. something made me realize that i could not keep doing what i was doing. i quit cold turkey two years ago, next month.
my heart has been broken by anyone i’ve ever loved. my father being the very first. then comes my mother, my sister, any “best friends” that i’ve ever had, boyfriends.. & so on. but somehow i found a positive message behind it all. it taught me that sometimes, you aren’t dealt the best hand. but if you fold, you can’t win.
it represents hope for me as well. ”if god brings you to it, he’ll get you through it.” & that’s where i started to entertain the idea of god. i had always been weary of religion & what it represents. but something unexplainable saved my life. it gives me hope that someone, somewhere is watching out for me.
& last, it represents overcoming fear. ironically, i used to be scared of birds. i used to be scared of a lot of things.. new people & places. change. LOVE. juno is the greek goddess of love- her bird being the peacock- her flower, the lily. it represents overcoming irrational, and very rational fears.
